Good point. I hear what you are saying. I guess I was equating rage with anger.

I’m not sure, Jo. I think rage, like depression is just a symptom. I suppose depression too can motivate change, but overall I would say depression is not a good thing.

Rage can be a healthy outlet IF it results in some type of positive change/growth within the person. That’s a big if.

Re: This is wrong

Who said that Flagg (or me or anyone else for that matter) _always_ has their relationship disrupted by rage?

Maybe you’re coming out of somewhere else rather than replying to what was actually in the thread?

Re: This is wrong

P.S. I said the alternatives of rage or isolation are not attractive. I didn’t accuse Flagg of raging.

Re: This is wrong

Flagg’s initial post and your follow up post are about relationships, right? I don’t know who Flagg is talking about, but you’re talking about your mother. I suggested in a general way (because I have my own mother issues and because I was thinking of the VA Tech shooter) that a healthy relationship means being able to set some boundaries with people without guilt and anger.

If you can’t do that with the people in you’re life, you’re doomed to a life of being angry all the time or not having significant relationships (not just romantic relationships, but relationships with friends, siblings, coworkers, mothers, servants, etc).

Having one’s relationships always disrupted by rage is a sign that something is wrong. I don’t think that’s constructive in any way. And I’m not saying this is true of you or Flagg or anyone in particular. I’m musing about relationships (after acknowledging a rant).

It appears I gave the impression that I was cutting off everyone, isolating myself. Not the case at all… Firstly, I would not be posting. I simply refusing to play specific games with specific people.

The price, in those cases, is too high.

This is wrong

This is kind of weird…but I’m not sure I can wrap my finger around why. Non sequiteur maybe?? Or…maybe something like this:
– You’re raging or maybe isolating and it’s not attractive.
– Sometimes rage is appropriate.
– Rage doesn’t build relationships.
– Sometimes my agenda is not about building relationships.
– Well then you die alone.

I’m scratching my head here, Z.

I mean, the logic is strained at best, and not in any way supportive that I can see.

Having recently gone through some medical stuff that pales in comparison to what Flagg is going through, having had family decide it was a great time to manipulate me, having my own mother try to take advantage of my vulnerability as a way to control me….

Yeah…rage. And it wasn’t about building relationships and it wasn’t about dying alone. And if you had said this to me, in the midst of that, I think I’d have torn your fucking head off. 🙁

You know I think the world of you, but I think you’re either out of line or simply lack comprehension or maybe some of both.

I’m not sure I follow you; are you suggesting that rage builds relationships?

I think rage is a chaotic reaction to being out of control; when you’re in control, rage isn’t necessary.

Re: Sometimes….

I suppose that is technically true in the same sense that everyone experiences everything alone.